You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize
