I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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