I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
