I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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