Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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