Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
