After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
