I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
