Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
