He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
