I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
