he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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