im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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