ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
