Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
