Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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