yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
