You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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