My hand turned me down
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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