I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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