Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
