I got chris browned last night
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
