Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
