I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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