who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
