I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i think my mom watched the whole time
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
All I want is dick and wine.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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