How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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