your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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