I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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