I seem to have left my pride at pride
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
