is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
