i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
