Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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