absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
