Can Purell be used as lube?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
