I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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