okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
