Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
