Where did you get a picture of my penis
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
