is your mom at the bar?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
