I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
