i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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