Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
