I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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