it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
