I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
