I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
