i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
