Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
