Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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