Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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