No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
