how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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