but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
